Blushing can be a curse. Blushers expertise a assortment of effects, such as reduction of self-confidence and concern of meeting new people. Blushing is an interesting phenomenon, as there is no generally accepted psychological concept to explain it (although many theories have been put ahead). Nevertheless, some of the characteristics of blushing have been clarified.

Blushing is one of many psychological processes where feedback loops are essential. Whilst a blush can be induced in a very sudden, surprising way — your trousers fall down in public, for instance — most blushers report that ‘fear of blushing’ is the most typical set off. So if we take a individual who blushes when discussing sexual matters with a member of the opposite intercourse, for instance, as quickly as the conversation begins to steer in the direction of intercourse, they might find a blush beginning to develop. This is the concern of blushing taking over : whilst the sexual content might appear to be the set off, in fact it is the awareness that such content is going to be getting into the conversation which begins the procedure off. The feedback loop then kicks in : aware that they are beginning to blush, their discomfort and the colour of the blush each deepen, till we have a complete-strength blush and a powerful perception of embarrassment.

This procedure is very harmful, simply because it generates concern in areas of life where we really advantage from being calm. Imagine the handicap of feeling unable to inquire for a date. It’s difficult sufficient for most of us (!), but many blushers give up on life prior to it is really started, simply because their blushing has successfully stifled their self-confidence in interpersonal relationships.

Note that the embarrassment is usually for the blush by itself. Numerous blushers report that they regard themselves as socially outgoing, assured people whose only actual insecurity relates to their blushing. So they are not really embarrassed about intercourse, in this instance, just embarrassed simply because talking about intercourse triggers a blush.

The triggers for blushing are many and varied, although most of the triggers which have been noted to me through my work as a hypnotherapist relate to individual or intimate communications, or to public exposure. It’s surprisingly typical to find very capable, assured, qualified people who dread being launched to a group of people, for concern that they will blush.

How can blushers help themselves? Hypnotherapy and/or CBT (Cognitive Behavioural treatment) are the tools of option. Through hypnotherapy it is possible to desensitise the individual to their triggers, and also to provide ‘escape mechanisms’ which allow the individual to quit a blush from deepening.

We can all help blushers, merely by realising that the only factor which embarrasses them is people noticing their blush. Ignore it. Act as if it isn’t there. Don’t mention it, and do not behave as if you’ve touched a raw nerve — you haven’t. Think it or not, blushing is mostly meaningless.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in self-confidence improvement and stress management. He might be contacted via the Self-confidence Club website http://www.confidenceclub.net