A few months back, I wrote about ingenious types of consumer service that each and every business should know about, mostly simply because their employees were inflicting them on their customers.

For instance, I warned about “in your encounter consumer service” and “operate for cover consumer service”, two equally efficient opposites…like pouring too much sugar on your Cheerios 1 day, and pouring too much cayenne pepper on them the subsequent.

I also warned about “do-it-your self-extortion”, “consistent filibuster consumer service”, “Invisible Guy consumer service”, “present-at-attendance consumer service”, “consumer service on steroids”, and “satirical consumer service”.

You will have to study about these clever anti-sales pitches at:

http://www.thehappyguy.com/customer-service.html , simply because today I want to tell you about a 100% innovative approach to consumer service that my spouse and I discovered in a village high up in the mountains.

We were on our annual honeymoon, a 3-day escape from parenthood to lick our wounds and give our tattered spirits a opportunity to recuperate.

To tell the truth, the weekend was more like a marriage encounter. It gave me a opportunity to find out just who is that strange lady passing me in the hallway at full throttle, pinching her nose and radiating the sweet smell of mushy diaper as she whooshes past. And it gave her the opportunity to discover the even stranger guy who blows a muffled “Oof!” each and every time Small Lady invents a new “Hop On Pop” dance move.

Examine-in at the pretty costly Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere was 4:00 p.m., and it was made really obvious that we would not be welcome till then. It’s usually an ominous signal when a resort starts by warning you when you will not be welcome, so we arrived at 4:00 p.m..

At six:thirty we stopped by the front desk on the way to dinner to request an extra pillow. Being in a rest-associated establishment in, we figured there would an off-opportunity that this request might be reasonable.

Wrong. The desk clerk could not offer a pillow simply because the laundry division closed at 4:00, and he had no way of accessing anything that was not correct at the desk, he told us with a deadpan encounter.

“But we were not permitted to examine in till 4:00 p.m.,” I protested.

At this point, Deadpan Clerk pulled from beneath the desk a box big sufficient to hold nearly fifty percent a pillow, and began rummaging helpfully via it to see if he could find a pillow. He could not, he declared.

In the hospitality business, folks should know how to deal with people hospitably, or so I believed. If that were the case, I suppose I would never have created about Hotel Stella and the Wicked Witch of Lido ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/Hotel-Stella.html ) or about the paper-thin walls in many motels these days ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/hotel-jokes.html ). Okay, so the latter was mostly fiction, a desperate search for a column subject, but the Hotel Stella torture story was 100% accurate.

Back at the pretty costly Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere, Deadpan Clerk proceeded to assure us that we were not the only ones he mistreated. Phew, what a relief! In fact, just a few minutes previously a guy had arrive looking for an iron for his spouse (most likely for his wife’s dress, as males rarely iron their wives, but Deadpan Clerk never clarified that).

He proudly associated how he had explained to the guy that irons were not available after 4:00 p.m., unless he had 1 in his magic small box.

“But we were not permitted to examine in till 4:00 p.m.,” the guy protested.

He sent the guy back to inform his spouse that she will have to go to the dinner theatre in a dress looking like a prune (the dress, not the spouse…at least, not that we were conscious of).

Note: Although no lacking persons report has been filed, we did not see the guy once more.

Deadpan Clerk was proudly informed us that he had sent the guy away without an iron. Apparently we did not rank high sufficient to deserve even their really worst consumer service.

I should finish this story on a happy note. But how? I escaped alive, along with the strange lady I pass each and every day in the hallway. It turns out she is my spouse, go figure. And a most compassionate spouse, too…she even aided Deadpan Clerk escape alive, too, at least till I return to the pretty costly Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere.

About The Writer

David Leonhardt is a humor columnist:

http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html

Read more satirical content articles and funny stories:

http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/humor content articles.html

Read more individual growth content articles:

http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html

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http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/travel-articles.html

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